Life Lessons in Trust
Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships. –Steven Covey
Like a lot of youngsters, I was hired by my neighbors to babysit. It was the perfect first job for me. I had six regular babysitting clients in my subdivision and a standing Friday and Saturday night babysitting gig with my next-door neighbors. One family even had scheduled me for every weekday afternoon throughout the school year. I made decent money. But, for some reason, I wanted a “real” job that withheld taxes from my paycheck; I thought that paying taxes was the true mark of being an adult; it meant I was well on my way to being grown up.
One hot summer day, I walked to the different stores in my neighborhood filling out applications, hoping one of the managers would hire me. And one finally did. I was the newest counter girl for a local frozen yogurt shop. One of my best friends worked there, too, and together we learned all about frozen yogurt. I learned how to make delicious crispy waffle cones. I rang up sales and handled the money, all while proudly serving the customers (at a time when the customer WAS always right). My coworkers and I listened to loud music after all of the customers left for the day and we closed up shop. As an added perk, we ate tubs and tubs of free frozen yogurt that summer.
It was a great first job, but I had a lot to learn about holding down a job. Keeping commitments, showing up on time for my shift, working with others, and successfully completing tasks was all part of the job. I had to learn how to talk to my bosses, which was different from talking to the people I interacted with the most-my family, babysitting clients, and teachers.
I was 16 years old and, like most girls my age, summers were important. In addition to work, I had to find time to go to the swim club, hang out with friends, and go see live music. Before I was hired, I bought tickets for Lollapalooza and needed that weekend off to go to the show. I asked my manager for the time off and he said I had to work, he couldn’t give me the time off. “Ok,” I thought. “I’ll work.” I was upset, but my dad told me this was what work was all about; making tough decisions and listening to my manager and showing up to work. My parents instilled a strong work ethic in me, so I gave the tickets to a friend and chalked it up as a life lesson.
Wouldn’t you know it? The night before Lollapalooza, I woke up with my forehead on fire and I threw up everything in my stomach . I was exhausted and feverish and unsteady on my feet. I felt like I could die at any minute. There was no way I could work a shift. I called my manager and told him I was sick; there was no way I could work. My manager told me that he didn’t believe me and he expected me to be on time for my shift. He said he wouldn’t hear any more of my complaints and that he would see me in the morning.
I struggled to get out of bed in the morning. It took everything I had to get dressed. The thought of eating breakfast made me gag, again. I dragged myself to work. My manager was there waiting for me. I talked to him for a little bit about the shift and the work to be done and then bolted to the back of the store to wretch the rest of the contents from my stomach. I rinsed my mouth with water and went back to work. He still didn't believe that I was sick. Just as he was leaving for the day, he gave me a long checklist of tasks that he expected me to do; the checklist was longer than usual. I was miserable. I was even more miserable because my manager didn’t trust me.
Working at the frozen yogurt shop was a summer job for him, too, so he couldn’t have been much older than me. A lot of young managers, as they’re just getting started, feel like they have something to prove; they feel like they have power over their employees. I have seen it many times. Years later, I saw it in me, too, when I was getting started as a manager. My ego was enormous and I knew it all and since I knew it all, I couldn’t admit when I was wrong and that people really do want to do their best on the job.
I did want to go to Lollapalooza, but I wasn’t the liar my manager thought I was. I learned a valuable leadership lesson that day. Trust your employees. Believe that your employees want to do the right thing. Train them to do the job you hired them to do and then let them do that job. Trust that your employees will tell you the truth, even when it seems like a lie. Managers need to let go of their egos, embrace humility, and trust their employees. Building trust with your employees builds stronger teams and ultimately, stronger companies.
